Excerpt from a Q&A By Andrea Sachs with Michelle Anthony, a developmental psychologist and the co-author (with Reyna Lindert) of ‘Little Girls Can Be Mean: Four Steps to Bully-Proof Girls in the Early Grades’
Is there a common misperception that this only happens when kids get older?
Exactly, that this is a problem that only comes to light in middle school and high school. The reality is that the roots are all in elementary school. Girls as young as kindergarten are facing significant social challenges without the resources, without the tools and most important, without the support to best manage them.
Do most daughters tell their parents that something is going on?
Sometimes. When it gets bad enough, they usually do. And if they don’t, parents — especially parents who are taught to recognize shifts in their children — will begin to notice changes. More often than girls coming and saying, “I have this big problem,” you’ll see shifts in behavior. They’ll stop liking things they used to like, or they’ll start complaining about headaches or stomachaches more, or that they don’t like [a particular] class, because that’s where these things are happening. When girls come home, there are sort of codes that they use: “She was mean” — that’s a very common phrase for a child to use — or, “My friend and I got in a fight.”
Read more at Time
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I recently bumped into a blog that speaks specifics on that particular genre of Philippine culture and history – Filipino boys. Not discriminating the other sex, here’s the author’s reason for putting the subject on the net:
- Many of them well become fathers — Filipino fathers — in the future.
- We are a patriarchal society.
- Filipino boys of today are at a big disadvantage in our very entertainment-oriented society.
The author writes, “The simple answer is, I am a Filipino father. I cannot blog in behalf of the rest of the nationalities. Nor can I address girls on how to become mothers. They’re simply areas that I won’t go into.”
Go to Raising Filipino Boys blog.
Photo by jeridaking at Flickr
The Filipino child is not taught to look out for himself or to care for his own concerns but is encouraged to consider every member of the family. Parental advice runs on the constant theme that he cannot always have his way because ther4e are others who want their way too.
One of the most important things a child learns is that the temperaments of individuals of the usually mild-mannered person who is subject to infrequent but violent outbursts. All of these distinctions are important for he must adjust his behavior to the different temperaments in the group in order to be successful in interpersonal relationships.
Topics discussed are:
- Frequency and Causes of Anger
- Expressions of Anger
- Parents’ Reaction to Anger
- Quarrels with Siblings and Peers
- Quarrels with Neighbor’s Children
- Expression of Feelings and Interpersonal Values
Read more at Gomestic
Photo by Inkblots™ at Flickr