Why Parenting With a Smartphone Isn’t Bad Parenting

I love this Time Magazine (online) article aptly written by Rachel Simmons, co-founder of Girls Leadership Institute and the author of the New York Times bestsellers Odd Girl Out: The Hidden Culture of Aggression in Girls and The Curse of the Good Girl: Raising Authentic Girls with Courage and Confidence. I read it like three times! LOL!

Even her article’s sub-title is an awesome slogan: “Here’s why being on your phone doesn’t make you a bad parent.”

She writes that a lot of journalists and would-be parenting experts are asking parents to stop using their phones in front of their kids. “They say it makes kids feel less loved, and teaches the wrong lessons about how to use devices.” Her answer? “No. Noooooo. Noooooooooooooooo.” Hahaha!

Simmons says parenting can be boring, like when you’re pushing a stroller the entire morning which is similar to watching paint dry. “Hell yes I’m going to be on my phone.”

Another quip is not to make her daughter the center of her attention the entire day. “My daughter’s name is Estee, not Lady Mary, and I am not her valet, at her beck and call.”

Other reasons Simmons writes in her article are titles “My kid could use some space” and “I have a job.” In the end, it’s a matter of balancing the act and the practicalities of using your phone and parenting. “Instead of telling me everything I’m doing wrong as a mom, it’d be nice if someone cut me a break and told me what I’m doing right. It’s enough to make you want to find a volleyball for company.” – You have to read her article to understand what the volleyball is all about.

Source: Not Without My Smartphone: The Case for Somewhat Distracted Parenting by Rachel Simmons via Time.com.

Photo by futurestreet at Flickr.com.

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Why I Never Say ‘Don’t Talk to Strangers’

While it made a popular Rick Springfield song in the ’80s, “Don’t talk to strangers” is way too broad of a statement. I’ve actually never said this to my children in so many words. It certainly doesn’t fit my detail-driven personality or my parenting style.

Here’s just a few of the problems I have with this statement. How do we define a stranger? Is a fireman we don’t know on a first-name basis a stranger? Is the lady who delivers our mail each day a stranger? We may not know her by name either, but she’s a welcome sight to us each day. Often times, she will hand the mail directly to my 5-year-old son, as I watch the entire exchange to ensure he doesn’t get too close to the curb or drop a pile of unwanted bills in a puddle. The ritual gives him self-confidence, allowing him to help with a chore while also learning to look an adult in the eye.

Interacting with unfamiliar people is something children need to learn or they may eventually become socially awkward adults. There’s really no way to teach children how to make casual, small talk in a grocery store check-out line. Perhaps when a child answers a store clerk’s question that could be a start.

So what do I tell my children?

Find out more from Julia Sherwin, the host of “Perspectives on Parenting with Julia Sherwin.”

Photo from pixabay.com.

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Which Parenting Style Works Best

Singaporean  Daniel Wong writes through the work he has done with thousands of students and parents, he has come across a lot of angry, bitter children and their loving but confused parents. “As a parent, sometimes love isn’t enough.”

“Just to be clear, this article is about parenting from a child’s perspective, which is my area of expertise given that I’ve worked with many youths,” he adds. Parenting can mostly be summed up by two traits: unconditional acceptance of their children and expectations of excellence of their children.

Read more about these traits and the various categories a parent goes through in parent at Yahoo! Singapore.

Photo from source.

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The Secret to Raising Kids and Staying Sane

“I have said it before and I will say it again — and again; parenting is hard,” says Northumberland guest columnist Leisse Wilcox. “There are times we high-five our sweethearts and smugly boast about how great we are at this.

Then, there are the other times.” Wilcox continues that those are the times when it is most important to steal away for a “sweetheart getaway,” a night away for you and your honey to go and be a couple again. In these getaway events, she offers three rules so that you get back on the horizon to put it all in perspective.

Read more at Northumberland News.

Photo by scottsnyde at rgbstock.com

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Jollibee Awards 5 Families for Outstanding Family Values

The panel of judges who selected the winning families in the country

Jollibee through its flagship product Chickenjoy launched in August its Jollibee Family Values Awards in honor of Filipino families whose strong and joyful ties help and inspire their communities in unique ways. “These are the families whose exceptional bonds enrich not just their own lives but also that of their respective communities. Through their examples and collective deeds while embodying respect, optimism and generosity, they show the many joys that close family ties bring and how these positively affect society,” shares Albert Cuadrante, Jollibee VP for Marketing.

Recently, Jollibee awarded the winning families during the Gabi ng Parangal para sa Pamilyang Pilipino held at the Crowne Plaza Hotel in Ortigas. “It was a nationwide search and we invited everyone to join as a family or nominate other fun and outstanding families who have touched their lives and their community one way or another.” Out of 1,400 entries, the list was shortened down to 25 families until the panel of judges came up with the 5 families.

The judges were comprised of TV/radio personalities Julius Babao and Christine Bersola-Babao, Department of Social Welfare and Development (DSWD) Undersecretary Alicia Bala, parenting columnist Cathy Babao-Guballa, Center for Family Ministries Director Fr. Allan Abuan, Jollibee vice president for Marketing Albert Cuadrante, Jollibee vice president for human resources Theresa Jotie and Jollibee marketing manager Kent Mariano.

Five winning families from Mega Manila, Northern Luzon, Southern Luzon, Visayas and Mindanao will each get P100,000 in cash (tax-free), a trophy specially designed by Michael Cacnio, and P10,000 worth of Jollibee Gift Certificates. The families were judged based on the following criteria: family values (40%), impact outside the family (40%), degree of participation of the family (10%) and uniqueness of story (10%). Of the shortlist of 25 families, everyone was personally interviewed and were required to submit supporting documents.

Named most outstanding families were: Ireneo and Flordeliza Depleo and family from Sta. Maria Bulacan (North Luzon); Emmanuel and Mila Mercado and family from Quezon City (Mega Manila); Edonis and Christine Francisco from Lucena City (South Luzon); Ernesto and Remedios Suplido and family from Silay City (Visayas); and Rey and Marjorie Cartojano from General Santos City (Mindanao).

Sources: Manila Standard Today | Jollibee Buzz Room

Photo by Jollibee

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Boys Who Bond More with Moms Grow Up to be Great Teens

Mother and son walking in the rain

Don’t we know it that boys despise being labeled a “Mama’s Boy?” Yet a research conducted in Pittsburgh shows that “boys who have had lots of conflict with their mothers were more likely to engage in delinquent behavior as teens, while boys who had a close relationship with their mothers were more likely to have a good relationship with their best friends when they became teens.”

This study was made on more than 250 mother-son pairs, from when the son was five years old up to his adolescence. Besides the mother-son relationship, it also looked at other aspects like temperament, behavior, relationship of mother and her husband or partner, and even parenting style.

Another study conducted by Dr Pasco Fearon, from the School of Psychology and Clinical Language Sciences, looked at 69 studies involving almost 6,000 children aged 12 and younger. This research from the University of Reading says a similar thing: children, especially boys, who have insecure attachments to their mothers in the early years have more behaviour problems later in childhood.

A mother and son relationship is a very unique one, writes suite101.com. Boys generally look up and to their fathers or a father-figure for counsel, advise and companionship. However, a mother’s guidance is warmth, patience and compassion, to name a few, that provide boys their natural abilities to interact with girls properly and correctly. This helps boys have better relationships with women when they grow up as men.

However, when boys and teens grow up to be adults or “men,” they are more likely to confess to a predilection for pornography than admit to a close relationship with their mother. Geographic culture and courtships dispell manlihood and marital bliss, that is, women may run a thousand miles away from a man who loves his mother just too much.

It’s a different story when a man becomes a father. His mother is now a grandmother and everything about their relationship is transformed. If there has been any separation, this is now reversed. The mother who lost his boy and teenager to becoming a man is now getting back her boy as the grandmother to his son or daughter.

Sources: suite101 | Science Daily | The Times UK

Photo by clintonbellizzi at Flickr.com

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Parents Ask Should They Buy Their Kids Violent Video Games

Kids playing video games

Amy Dickinson is a columnist for The Washington Post and was recently asked by parents of two sons, ages 9 and 12, if they should hold their ground in buying their children video games that are rated T and M, all combat-type, shoot-em-up, kill-em-all, violent versions. It may matter in the house but once the boys visit their friends where parents allows these types of violent video games, they have no control over that.

Should these parents just give in?

Read the entire Q&A at The Washington Post

Photo by halfcaucazn at Flickr.com

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