Why Parenting With a Smartphone Isn’t Bad Parenting

I love this Time Magazine (online) article aptly written by Rachel Simmons, co-founder of Girls Leadership Institute and the author of the New York Times bestsellers Odd Girl Out: The Hidden Culture of Aggression in Girls and The Curse of the Good Girl: Raising Authentic Girls with Courage and Confidence. I read it like three times! LOL!

Even her article’s sub-title is an awesome slogan: “Here’s why being on your phone doesn’t make you a bad parent.”

She writes that a lot of journalists and would-be parenting experts are asking parents to stop using their phones in front of their kids. “They say it makes kids feel less loved, and teaches the wrong lessons about how to use devices.” Her answer? “No. Noooooo. Noooooooooooooooo.” Hahaha!

Simmons says parenting can be boring, like when you’re pushing a stroller the entire morning which is similar to watching paint dry. “Hell yes I’m going to be on my phone.”

Another quip is not to make her daughter the center of her attention the entire day. “My daughter’s name is Estee, not Lady Mary, and I am not her valet, at her beck and call.”

Other reasons Simmons writes in her article are titles “My kid could use some space” and “I have a job.” In the end, it’s a matter of balancing the act and the practicalities of using your phone and parenting. “Instead of telling me everything I’m doing wrong as a mom, it’d be nice if someone cut me a break and told me what I’m doing right. It’s enough to make you want to find a volleyball for company.” – You have to read her article to understand what the volleyball is all about.

Source: Not Without My Smartphone: The Case for Somewhat Distracted Parenting by Rachel Simmons via Time.com.

Photo by futurestreet at Flickr.com.

_

Husbands Are More Under Pressure by Marriage Gems

My kids and me

I’ve been a subscriber of “Marriage Gems” and would recommend Lori’s blog for your habitual reading on parenting and parenthood. For today, it’s a topic us men can relate, to wit, “Are Husbands under More Pressure than Ever?

Here are a few quips to her newest article:

Experts are now saying working fathers are experiencing the most pressure in families, even families in which both spouses work.

This is the final discussion of the research coming out of Time Magazine’s August issue. It shares a report by the Families and Work Institute, which surveyed 1,298 men.

Men who are experiencing overwhelming stresses should discuss their feelings with their wives in a way that is not accusatory.

Read more at Marriage Gems

_

Another Parenting Parable

Photo by yvonnekroese at Flickr.com

_

A man came home from work late, tired and irritated, to find his 5-year old son waiting for him at the door.

SON : ‘Daddy, may I ask you a question?’

DAD : ‘Yeah sure, what it is?’ replied the man.

SON : ‘Daddy, how much do you make an hour?’

DAD : ‘That’s none of your business. Why do you ask such a thing?’ the man said angrily.

SON : ‘I just want to know.. Please tell me, how much do you make an hour?’

DAD : ‘If you must know, I make $20.00 an hour.’

SON : ‘Oh,’ the little boy replied, with his head down.

SON : ‘Daddy, may I please borrow $10.00 ?’

The father was furious, ‘If the only reason you asked that is so you can borrow some money to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then you march yourself straight to your room and go to bed. Think about why you are being so selfish. I work hard everyday for such this childish behavior.’

The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door. The man sat down and started to get even angrier about the little boy’s questions. How dare he ask such questions only to get some money?

After about an hour or so, the man had calmed down, and started to think:

Maybe there was something he really needed to buy with that $10.00 and he really didn’t ask for money very often. The man went to the door of the little boy’s room and opened the door.

‘Are you asleep, son?’ He asked…

‘No daddy, I’m awake,’ replied the boy.

‘I’ve been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you earlier’ said the man.

‘It’s been a long day and I took out my aggravation on you. Here’s the $10.00 you asked for..’

The little boy sat straight up, smiling. ‘Oh, thank you daddy!’ He yelled.

Then, reaching under his pillow he pulled out some crumpled up bills. The man saw that the boy already had money, started to get angry again. The little boy slowly counted out his money, and then looked up at his father.

‘Why do you want more money if you already have some?’ the father grumbled.

‘Because I didn’t have enough, but now I do,’ the little boy replied.

‘Daddy, I have $20.00 now. Can I buy an hour of your time? Please come home early tomorrow. I would like to have dinner with you.’

The father was crushed. He put his arms around his little son, and he begged for his forgiveness.

It’s just a short reminder to all of you working so hard in life. We should not let time slip through our fingers without having spent some time with those who really matter to us, those close to our hearts.

—–

You can always replace man, Daddy and father with woman, Mommy and mother, and son with daughter — you get the point 🙂

Shared by Vit Panaguiton through e-mail

_

Are Parenthood and Facebook incompatible?

Photo by davidgilmour at Flickr.com

The old adage of leaving work in the office and coming home as a parent and a spouse is now competing with today’s cannabis of the internet – social media. Here are some quips about a Mom who struggled between good parenting and Facebook:

I love to be informed, to read about what other people are thinking or feeling, and the Internet became my vehicle for doing just that. Except it had become a nasty habit I secretly felt guilty about. Since I believe in the notion that if you feel guilty, you probably are, I knew something was wrong.

That was the day I knew I had to switch things up. I spent way too much time knocking around the net and way too little time planning my days and playing with my kids. So I determined what I had to do on the Internet and when I could do it. I delegated certain times of the day for work and for play. I stuck with the plan and it all went peachy — for a while.

To read more, go to Jamie Bissot’s Blog

A Book About Asian Parenting in the Western World

Author Amy Chua at IdeaFestival in 2008

Photo by geoffbugbee at Flickr.com

_

What is a strict Chinese upbringing or an ethnically defined approach to parenting?

I read Amy Chua’s “Day of Empire” twice because I was just so amazed at how she factually deliberated the rise and fall of hyperpower nations of histories gone by. Now, her new book “Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother” espouses her own experience as an Asian mom. She defines “Chinese mother” loosely to include parents of other ethnicities who practice traditional, strict child-rearing, while also acknowledging that “Western parents come in all varieties,” and not all ethnically Chinese parents practice strict child-rearing.

“This is a story about a mother, two daughters, and two dogs. This was supposed to be a story of how Chinese parents are better at raising kids than Western ones. But instead, it’s about a bitter clash of cultures, a fleeting taste of glory, and how I was humbled by a thirteen-year-old.” In reality, it’s a controversy that’s now being talked about in American circles, like Tom Brokaw writes, “it will leave you breathless” and many similar responses.

Ms. Chua is of Chinese descent but was born and grew up in the American midwest. Her parents were ethnic Chinese from the Philippines before they emigrated to the United States. She graduated magna cum laude from Harvard while her husband, Jed Rubenfeld, was a summa cum laude graduate of Princeton University.

Definitely a “Must Buy!”

Sources:

_

Brad Pitt on Parenting

Photo by Candy_Kirby at Flickr.com

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are parents of three biological and three adopted children. “I know it seems extreme from the outside, but I’ve always kind of operated this way. When I know, I know, and why mess around?” Pitt, 47, said in an interview.

“I had a friend who had a big family when I was a kid. I just loved the chaos around the breakfast table and the fighting and the ribbing, and the mom making pancakes for everyone or the dad making pancakes.

Read more at News.com.au from The Daily Telegraph

10 Great Parent Models in Fiction Books and Film

Photo by westerville_public_library at Flickr.com

When I encountered this article mental_floss, I had to agree with Linda Rodriguez McRobbie, author of the item that dissects her top 10 best models of parenting in books and film. This article may be a great help for you parents with little time to think of what to introduce your growing child in the world of grown-up books and film.

1. Atticus Finch – To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee
The widowed father of Jem and Scout, Atticus Finch is one of the great heroes of American literature […]

2. Alex and Kate Murry – A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L’Engle
A Wrinkle in Time was a sci-fi gift to all those nerdy kids out there for whom Star Trek hadn’t been invented yet […]

3. The Weasleys – Harry Potter series by JK Rowling
Who never heard of the Harry Potter books and film series has got to be kidding […]

4. Marmee – Little Women by Louisa May Alcott
Marmee is the glue that holds the Little Women together through the Civil War and their father’s long absence […]

5. Mr. and Mrs. Little – Stuart Little by EB White
Mr. and Mrs. Little are always on the look out for the good things in Stuart, right? […]

6. Ma and Pa Ingalls – Little House on the Prairie by Laura Ingalls Wilder
This has got to be one of the best classics in American family life. I’m wondering if there’s a DVD set out there […]

7. Mr. and Mrs. Quimby – Ramona series by Beverly Cleary
Ramona Quimby, age 8, is a bit of a handful. Her imagination—and she’s got lots of it—often gets her into situations, like the time she went to school with her pajamas under her clothes because she was pretending to be a fireman […]

8. Carlisle and Esme Cullen – The Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer
OK, so they’re vampires. But they’re good vampires, with fabulous dress sense, lots of money, and consciences […]

9. Baloo the Bear, Bagheera the Blank Panther, and the wolves – The Jungle Book by Rudyard Kipling
Father Wolf and Mother Wolf raise the hairless man-cub Mowgli as one of their own […]

10. The Gilbreths – Cheaper By The Dozen by Frank Bunker Gilbreth, Jr., and Ernestine Gilbreth Carey
The Gilbreths were actual people, not fiction, and this charming book, published in 1948, is a biography written by their children […]

Read the entire article and Linda’s assessments at:

10 of the Best Parents in Fiction
by Linda Rodriguez McRobbie
October 10, 2010 – 9:00 AM
Source: mental_floss