Boys Who Bond More with Moms Grow Up to be Great Teens

Mother and son walking in the rain

Don’t we know it that boys despise being labeled a “Mama’s Boy?” Yet a research conducted in Pittsburgh shows that “boys who have had lots of conflict with their mothers were more likely to engage in delinquent behavior as teens, while boys who had a close relationship with their mothers were more likely to have a good relationship with their best friends when they became teens.”

This study was made on more than 250 mother-son pairs, from when the son was five years old up to his adolescence. Besides the mother-son relationship, it also looked at other aspects like temperament, behavior, relationship of mother and her husband or partner, and even parenting style.

Another study conducted by Dr Pasco Fearon, from the School of Psychology and Clinical Language Sciences, looked at 69 studies involving almost 6,000 children aged 12 and younger. This research from the University of Reading says a similar thing: children, especially boys, who have insecure attachments to their mothers in the early years have more behaviour problems later in childhood.

A mother and son relationship is a very unique one, writes suite101.com. Boys generally look up and to their fathers or a father-figure for counsel, advise and companionship. However, a mother’s guidance is warmth, patience and compassion, to name a few, that provide boys their natural abilities to interact with girls properly and correctly. This helps boys have better relationships with women when they grow up as men.

However, when boys and teens grow up to be adults or “men,” they are more likely to confess to a predilection for pornography than admit to a close relationship with their mother. Geographic culture and courtships dispell manlihood and marital bliss, that is, women may run a thousand miles away from a man who loves his mother just too much.

It’s a different story when a man becomes a father. His mother is now a grandmother and everything about their relationship is transformed. If there has been any separation, this is now reversed. The mother who lost his boy and teenager to becoming a man is now getting back her boy as the grandmother to his son or daughter.

Sources: suite101 | Science Daily | The Times UK

Photo by clintonbellizzi at Flickr.com

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The “I like it on…” Fallacy of Breast Cancer Awareness

Photo by inadvisable at Flickr.com

For the past weeks, I’ve been seeing women posting messages on Facebook, Twitter and many of the popular social media networking sites such as “I like it on the kitchen sink” or “I like it on the dining table.” For the average person, more so the heterosexual male, these messages connotes a meaning akin to sex. But in my social media circle, I see women of stature and some of deep religious faith publishing similar text.

And so, I began my search for these senseless messages in or on the web and found it to be an indirect support to breast cancer awareness. “I like it on…” means where a woman would leave her purse or bag, “I like it on the kitchen table” simply suggests where she likes to leave her purse. At first, I rode along with these quippy anecdotes; but then, I realized how it must look like to an adolescent, much more a child, to be reading these quips and getting the wrong message.

I came across Reagan Lynch’s blog on the subject matter and understood how wrong the awareness campaign is providing provocative-meaning expressions of adult womanhood just to support a well-meaning crusade. Reagan writes:

Again this really doesn’t do anything to promote breast cancer awareness, and their is a theological problem with doing these types of status updates.

So if you post a status saying “I like it in the back seat”. You should reread that statement and ask yourself if that is a proper statement to make in a somewhat public forum. Read the statement in your mind using your dad, your boyfriend, husbands, or pastors voice, and ask if you still need to post that update.

In being secretive about this issue, posting to a public forum, or posting a statement that may seem harmless but can lead to a reputation if people don’t understand are you being respectful to the men in your life?

As a man, I truly support breast cancer awareness campaigns such as wearing those pink ribbon pins (when I used to work for Avon) and many others. But this phenomenon has gone overboard and wouldn’t want the children of the world, many who are online and reading mommy’s “I like it on…” posts and figuring the message on an opposite context.

Reference: Reagan Lynch Blogsite